What is loss time in your life?

If anything, my downtime has been from my thirties until now, when I started my own business.

Before I was in my thirties, I had never been sick, and I thought I could do anything as long as I had a strong body.
However, since his 30s, he has been hospitalized for a total of five times, including one traffic accident and four surgeries.
In particular, his life changed when he developed an incurable disease called ossification of the posterior longitudinal ligament.
When the symptoms develop, or worse, before you know it, your lower body below your belly button will feel numb and cold, and when you walk, you will feel so weak that you won't be able to walk on your own.The success rate of surgery is 70%, and the worst that can happen is that you won't be able to walk.
Fortunately, the surgery was successful and the chance of recurrence seems to be low...

It recurred again.
What's more, this time I felt numb and cold below my neck, and I felt completely weak and unable to use my strength and was in a wheelchair. I don't know if it was a mistake to easily decide to have another surgery because I had recovered from the previous surgery. I was able to walk once after the surgery, but it seems like it's gradually coming back. So I was hospitalized for about half a year.
My hope turned to despair, and I, the idiotic straight-talking type, am still unable to come up with an answer as to what I should do...

It's difficult to summarize briefly, but the bottom line is that my life from my 30s when I developed an incurable disease until now has been a blank state. That was it! I was doing this! I can't remember that, and I feel like I was alive as if I was dead.

There is also the sad fact that my father's death was the trigger for me to return to reality.
That's why I decided that things couldn't go on like this and that I should do something! I came up with this idea.

A life that I was about to give up on, and a life that is approaching 50 years old. I think of the rest of the time as loss time, and I hope that I can enjoy it and create a goal that I don't mind failing.

Ossification of the posterior longitudinal ligament (OPLL) A disease in which the posterior longitudinal ligament ossifies. Ossification of the posterior longitudinal ligament, which runs up and down the posterior surface of the spinal vertebrae, narrows the spinal canal, which is the passageway for the spinal cord, and compresses the nerves, resulting in symptoms such as sensory and motor disorders. It occurs more frequently in men over the age of 50 (male to female ratio 2:1), and occurs more frequently in diabetic and obese patients. Symptoms may progress over a long period of time, even over a period of years, and may not get worse. The cause of ligament ossification is unknown. *From Wikipedia